I haven’t written in a while, not because
nothing has happened but because I find myself getting use to the order of
things. I no longer count the amount of deaths we have each week as I did in my
earlier months, neither do I complain about the lack of resources. It is the
order of the day and lamenting never helped anyone; one just has to make best
with what we have here. My time here is
slowly drawing to an end and I find that I have become very reflective about
what these few months have taught me.
At
first I was worried that I have become hardened to mortality and that scared
me, but this isn’t true as one of my favorite patient “passed” last week whilst
we were away and I find that I feel such a great loss on the passing of this
lovely 2.5 year old boy who has been in Nalufenya for over 4 months. I realize
that doctors working in these situations are not hardened to mortality; they
have learnt a way to cope with it without burning out. One of the Ugandan doctors
once told me that she hardly cries at the loss of a patient now because she did
all her crying when she was a Medical student. I can relate to this in my time
here.
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Lunch with work colleagues |
On a personal level, I am overwhelmed by
how far I have come. It really is true
that you do not know what you are capable of until you are pushed. Jinja has
taught me to be patience and tolerance, in truth my character and identity as a
person has been greatly tested over the few months and I feel a better person
for doing this. The challenges I anticipated ahead of this experience seem ever
so trivial in comparison to what were truly my challenges. More than any fancy
clinical skills, I find that in these situations your relationships with people
matters as well.
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Apparently this baby looks like me |
Professionally I feel more focused than
ever, this is what I like doing. This
experience has taught me to rely on my clinical skills more than any investigation;
I have learnt to think outside the box and find alternative, simpler ways to
treat our patients instead of worrying about what I do not have. I now realize
how ambitious some of my aims and objectives were and although I haven’t
achieved every single one of them, in here lies a lesson itself. Patience! Rome
wasn’t built in a day. In the last 5 months I have done more teaching than I
did at home and this has also opened up another interest of mine. People ask me
if I think I am a better doctor for doing this. I hope I am! I feel so luck to
be able to do this job.
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Working on the special care unit |
Lastly I have come to appreciate my life
even more, I feel incredibly blessed for the opportunities I have had thus far.
To have such great mentors, friends and family both at home and amongst the
expat community here is incredible. Thank you to you all once again. Will I do this again? The answer is yes, in a
heartbeat.
Love this philosophical, reflective post! I am glad that you feel strengthened by this journey! Can't wait to have you back though. Keep safe !
ReplyDeleteAwesome post and an even more 'awesomer' Blog! Mum and I have just read this post together and we felt we had to say we are proud of you and a big well done. From your words we have been provoked to thought and have also been encouraged by your words. Specifically in this particular post what you wrote about patience really encouraged us. Look forward to seeing you soon enough.
ReplyDeleteToba
P.s. The picture with you and the baby, you two do kinda look… :P
Anu, thanks darling. Can't wait to catch up either.
ReplyDeleteToba and Mum- thank you that is so kind of you! I am glad you have enjoyed the blog. I have been wearing the trainers I promise, went running a few times but the ground is way to hard here and my knees were hurting. So opted for indoor exercises. Funny you should mention about the baby, people kept telling on the ward round that she looked like me. The mum even said that, so thought I should get a picture. How are you all? Miss you lots
Glad to hear you are using the trainers indoors as well as out! We are both fine over here just had my birthday and funny enough I sprained my leg trying to run on the day which was... well ... fun and painful. Missing you too Yeti and look forward to catching up properly when you get back. Took another look at the picture after reading your comment about the ward round and the mother of the child and we just laughed in agreement! Stay well and enjoy the time left to the max!
ReplyDelete